Prior to Peyton's arrival Parker was the love of our lives and he still is, but we are sharing the love with Peyton now too! I think Parker has adapted better than our wildest dreams, but I am having a hard time not giving him as much attention that he is used to. With it being winter now and the risk of Peyton getting sick we have stuck around the house more than we normally do. Parker is so used to being on the go with me all day every day so I think he is getting a little stir crazy being at the house so much...I know I am! I am really thankful that the basement is done though because that feels like we have another place to hang out.
I am way more tired than normal due to lack of sleep and my nerves are frazzled due to Peyton's colicky behavior...I just don't have the energy to be the energetic mom that I want to be. To be completely honest there have been several mornings where I have fallen asleep on the couch while Parker is awake! Luckily he is a saint and doesn't get into trouble. I would wake up with him standing right in front of me saying, "Mommy taking a nap". It would break my heart but I could not get myself to stay awake!
Normally Peyton doesn't start crying until right after Parker goes to bed but I know he hears her before he falls asleep. I just hate that is the last thing he hears before he goes to bed. Also, Joel and I always really enjoyed tucking Parker into bed together every night...we both cherished those moments and now that really doesn't happen much any more because someone has to be tending to Peyton. I really miss those special times.
Parker seems pretty unfazed by everything and I know I just need to let these guilty feelings go! This is the new life we have and soon the changes will seem normal and we will all fall into it just fine! My hope is that soon Peyton will settle down at nights and those will be less stressful times which will in turn put me in a better place mentally and emotionally and once she sleeps through the night I will be less tired and have the energy I want to have for Parker (and Peyton too!)! I know this is only a short period of time in our life and in the grand scheme of things we will all come out of it unscathed!
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