Parenting is one of the most unique journeys I have ever been on. Every day is ever changing and you can never settle into a routine because things are constantly changing. Joel and I always joke that if something is going well we don't really speak of it because as soon as you celebrate something going right it will all change the very next day! I guess we are a little superstitious!
Joel and I will admit that we have had a pretty smooth parenting road so far. Parker was a unique little boy who was always very compliant, pleasant to be around, a good listener and very teachable with anything he was re-directed on. Peyton on the other hand is quite different. She is sassy, says "NO!" often, does not feel bad after doing something she is told not to and throws fits at the young age of 1 years old! The past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride. Trying to figure out how to parent our ever-changing 3 year old has been challenging. There have been days where I feel at my wits end or I lose my cool or Time-Outs are at an extreme high before lunch!
While today had it's moments that I wish not to re-live, I feel like God is drawing me closer to His side through it all. I started the morning praying for my children. Praying for their hearts to be soften to God's will and for a love for Him. I prayed that I would be slow to anger, abounding in love, rely on God when I feel I can't continue, be equipped with God's grace and that I would forgive myself when I fail. I feel like that started my day the way it should always start but sadly all days are not like this.
Getting Parker down for a nap today was a bit of a struggle, but once he was out…he was out! I stopped by his room and watched him sleep and prayed over him at the foot of his bed. I then climbed in bed with him and took in all of his innocence and perfection. I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath, his blond hair in sweaty clusters on his head, his fair skin so smooth and perfect, his dirty finger nails, his fingers twitching as he dreams and his long eyelashes fall on his cheek. My heart swelled seeing him and having the realization of what a gift I have been entrusted with.
This precious time with Parker inspired me to do the same with Peyton. I prayed over her and watched her as she slept. It has been forever since I have been able to steal such a long look at her…she is always on the run! Her long hair fell over her eyes, she suckled her paci constantly, her little hand tucked under her cheek and her legs tucked tightly under her buns. My precious child, I love you.
At the end of the day these are the moments I am taking with me.
I have forgiven myself for my failures and continue to learn how best to love my children and teach them to love God, love others and show respect to adults.
I am a work in progress and I am glad I serve a God who has already gone before me and has a mazing plans for my children!
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