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April 25, 2013

I have fallen in love...

There are so many people who say that when your baby is born and you first lay eyes on them you feel a love that you never knew you had.  I always knew that I was not a real "baby person"...meaning that I don't love the baby stage so I was not expecting to feel those feelings immediately.  Well, I can honestly say that with neither one of our children did I feel that instant love connection, and since both of our children were colicky that feeling did not happen for quite some time.  It is hard to fall in love with a colicky baby that screams hysterically every night for hours, interrupts your normal sleep schedule and needs to be cared for 24/7!

Today, though, I can say I fell head over heals in love with Peyton!  I know it has slowly been happening but today when I had some time with Peyton by myself while Parker was sleeping I looked at her and became so overwhelmed with emotion and love for her that I wept!  It was a really special moment for me with Peyton that I will never forget!  I have wanted to feel this way since she was born but I couldn't force it...it had to happen naturally.  I have definitely had moments during the past couple of months where I felt so guilty for not having that strong sense of love for her and that has been really hard for me so I am really thankful for today.  I know this love will continue to grow stronger and stronger and I pray that God blesses Peyton and my relationship in the months and years to come!

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